Click Here to Find Out How I Survived an Unexpected Journey Through ME
by SongsofPsyche1945
Summary: Middle Earth. A clueless girl gets thrown into The Hobbit, she decides to keep a journal. Here it is. Eventually OC/Kili
1. Entry 1

Diary Entry #1:

So…..I am defiantly not in Kansas anymore—not that I'm from Kansa. I'm actually from Portland, Oregon. So let me start again.

I am definitely not in Portland, Oregon anymore.

It just doesn't sound the same. Point is, I am not home. Im am not anywhere near my home, in fact, I am not even in the same universe anymore.

I am in Middle Earth.

Jeez, that sounds nerdy just typing it out.

I guess I should back up a bit. Maybe to the very beginning of my journey, because it really would make any other sense otherwise.

I was walking home and I fell through a porthole.

Now I sound even nerdier. But it's true! I dont even know how to describe it. One second I was walking home from my job and then BOOM! I was falling through time and space and suddenly I landed in some fella's garden. He yelled at my for ten whole minutes about how I squished his perfect tomatoes. As he was yelling, I realized than this man—this person—-was not human. He was waaayyyy too short and he had pointed ears. I interrupted his yelling to ask where I was, and he said "Hobbiton".

And that's when I realized that I had been Mary-sued into Middle Earth.

Anyway, after this little hobbit guy stopped yelling at me, he turned out to be pretty nice. He said his name was Bilbo Baggins.

Now, I have seen the movies and I read the books in highschool but Ive never really been into Lord of the Rings. I dated a guy once who was really into it, but then I had to call the whole relationship off when he wanted me to role play as Legolas.

Bilbo Baggins invited me to stay with him until I figure things out. I guess he felt bad for yelling so much. I have a huge tomatoes stain on my butt now. He said he would wash it for me, but I don't trust middle earth technology. They don't even have electricity! Im just glad I decided to bring my solar powered charger to work with me the day I fell through the porthole, at least I'll still be able to type on this tablet (It's a Samsung Galaxy Tablet).

So, that's my story. I guess I might as well introduce myself now, just for the sake of remembering who I am just in case my memory disappears and I have no idea who I am.

My name is Annie.

No, not like the musical. The sun will NOT come out tomorrow for you if you mention anything about it. Ever.

I am 24 years old.

I live alone in a studio apartment in Portland that's on top of a candle store—you know the one…Bath and Body Shop? I think that's what it's called. It always makes my place smell great, plus I can steal candles whenever I want.

Just kidding.

Kind of.

I am a preschool teacher slash neighborhood tutor slash Queen Elsa impersonator (for little kids parties…)

I also run an organization/teaching/crafting blog.

It's pretty cool.

Or it was pretty cool, until I got stuck here. I don't even know where to start to start looking for help. Unfortunately for me I did not have the books on this samsung when I fell, and there obviously is no internet here.

My first initial thought was to go look for Dumbledore.

I asked Bilbo Baggins if he knew where I could find Dumbledore, and he just shrugged and said he never heard of him. He told me if I was looking for a wizard, I should go find one named Gandalf. Who ever the hell that is.

Apparently Dumbledore and Gandalf are two different wizards. Who knew?

Ahhh I am at 9%….moon beams are not as strong, I guess.

Goodnight!

Please let me know what you thing, reviews are always appreciated!


	2. Entry 2

Diary Entry #2:

I guess I'm writing to this mysterious "Dear Diary" person. Mainly because I cannot for the life of my figure out the date here. I know I fell through on a Tuesday, because Tuesdays are arts and crafts days at the school and I was walking home with two miniaturized hand prints right on my boobs. I don't think poor little Ben meant to get to second base with me…come on, he's only 2 years old! But it was still embarrassing.

Bilbo Baggins, bless his tiny soul, went to the market yesterday and bought me a skirt, tunic and undershirt. I think my jeans and my hand boob shirt offended him.

He was perplexed by my converses, but he let me keep them. The skirt hides them anyway. If I need to really blend in I'll just go barefoot.  
Anyway, besides my new wardrobe, some exciting things happened today.

I'll give you a list:

this fella in a dark grey robe and pointy hat showed up and said his name was Gandalf. THE Gandalf I am looking for to help me out! I tried to talk to him but he was too busy carving something into Bilbo Baggin's door.  
Poor Bilbo Baggins got his hands full tonight when twelve dwarves showed up at his door unannounced.  
3) I'M GOING ON A QUEST!

So, these dwarves. They are on some quest to go conquer this mountain that was their home like five thousand years ago. They also need to slay a dragon. But before they slay the dragon, they need a burglar to steal something for them. This Arkenstone thingy. It has special powers or something.

And I talked them into letting me tag along! Gandalf finally got to chat with me, and he said that if they make it to this place called Imodium (or something like that), this guy named Lord El Ron might be able to help me.

I wonder if El Ron speaks any spanish. It certainly sounds spanish.

So I am going with them. At least to Imodium.

They wanted Bilbo Baggins to come too, but he fainted before he got the chance to say yes. Believe it or not I will miss him. Besides all the yelling at the beginning, he was very nice to me.

Ooooo it's time for some dinner! Yum!

Ann signing off….


	3. Entry 2 again

Middle Earth food sucks balls.

I wish I had a hamburger :(


End file.
